The Culture of Silence, Shame, and Secrecy Surrounding Suicide

Stigma, Shame, and the Cost of Staying Quiet

Suicide is like a rude guest at a dinner party - everyone knows it's there, but no one wants to acknowledge it. We tiptoe around the subject, afraid to offend or upset anyone. 

But the reality is suicide is a serious issue affecting millions of people worldwide. Suicide is still a significant cause of death in the United States, and its rate has risen significantly since 1999. In the last ten years, suicide rates have increased rapidly among minority groups. The US Department of Health and Human Services reports that suicide was the second leading cause of death for Black young adults. 

The culture of silence surrounding suicide only perpetuates the shame and secrecy that often surround it. 

It's time to break the silence, have honest conversations, and create a culture of openness and support. So, let's grab a drink and pull up a chair - it's time to talk about it. 

The Challenges of the Culture of Silence 

The culture of silence surrounding suicide is like a thick fog that engulfs individuals and communities alike. It perpetuates feelings of shame, isolation, and hopelessness, making it difficult for people to seek help and support. 

For individuals struggling with suicidal thoughts, the fear of judgment and stigma can be overwhelming, leaving them feeling alone in their struggles. And for those who have lost a loved one to suicide, the grief and self-blame can be all-consuming, made worse by the silence surrounding their loss. 

In some cultures, the shame and stigma surrounding suicide can even lead to secrecy, where families hide their pain out of fear of judgment or shame. This silent culture is widespread within Black and Brown communities, where there may be a greater emphasis on upholding family honor, reputation, or maintaining a "brave face." 

Rising Rates of Suicide Among Black Americans 

Last year, the Black community was hit hard by a series of high-profile suicides—former Miss U.S.A. Cheslie Kryst, Ian Alexander, the son of Regina King, and actor Moses Moseley all died tragically due to suicide. This wave of tragic loss, among those we lose every day to suicide who aren't high-profile people, but our neighbors, friends, and loved ones, highlights the urgent need for greater awareness of mental health concerns among Black Americans. 

Research shows suicide is now the second leading cause of death among Black Americans aged 15-24, while actual suicide death rates for Black American girls aged 13-19 increased by 182% from 2001-2017. According to a recent Center for Disease Control (CDC) study, more than 44% of students in the ninth through 12th grades experienced persistent sadness or hopelessness. 

University of Houston's Professor of Psychology, Dr. Rheeda Walker, a leading expert on the intersectional experiences of mental health, race, and suicide, stresses the importance of Black Americans remaining connected to people within the community who can empathize with shared struggles, understand lived experiences, and can offer deserved reminders of their worth. 

To combat the culture of silence around suicide and mental health, Walker also suggests that affirming a positive identity that's already ingrained in the Black community and sharing the stories of courageous ancestors can foster more hope and pride among Black children—an intervention to hopefully start breaking down the intergenerational impact of structural racism and cumulative trauma. 

In Suffering in Silence: Suicide Warnings Hidden in Plain Sight, Walker says, "At minimum, parents, extended families, school systems and anywhere that youth are congregated can be intentional about positive messaging and contributions to society at all times of the year—not just during Black History Month." 

It's time to break through the fog of silence, start talking openly about life's challenges, and revel in shared stories about the resilient communities we come from. By doing so, we can create a culture of openness and support that helps us heal and thrive. 

The Impact of Stigma and Shame 

Stigma and shame are like a weight that drags individuals and communities down, particularly when it comes to suicide. When suicide is seen as a sign of weakness or moral failing, it can exacerbate health disparities for vulnerable and historically marginalized populations, leaving them at even greater risk. 

Moreover, the additional stigma placed on individuals struggling with mental health issues can make it harder for them to seek help and support, perpetuating the cycle of shame and silence. 

But here's the truth: mental health struggles are a part of the human experience, and seeking help is a sign of strength, not weakness. 

We must start talking openly about mental health, including suicide, and break down the societal walls blocking our opportunities for shared healing. Processing openly and connecting over our shared human experiences (the good, the bad, and the ugly) can create a culture of support that uplifts everyone, regardless of the individual challenges they face. 

Breaking the Cycle 

Breaking the cycle of shame and silence around suicide requires a concerted effort from all of us. We must encourage open dialogue and discussion, creating brave spaces for individuals to share their experiences and feelings without fear of judgment. 

We need to promote awareness and education around suicide prevention and mental health so that individuals and communities alike have the knowledge and resources they need to stay healthy and seek help. 

And most importantly, we need to address the discrimination that perpetuates this relentless culture of silence. Coming together to challenge harmful stereotypes and beliefs about mental health and advocating for policies and practices prioritizing well-being is a vital step we all must take. 

Change is never easy, but by working together, we can create a world where everyone feels seen, heard, and supported, no matter what they are going through. 

The Bottom Line 

Breaking the culture of silence, shame, and secrecy around suicide won't happen overnight. But we can make progress with awareness, education, and open dialogue. 

Let's be like that one friend who's not afraid to ask tough questions and offer a listening ear. Let's create a culture where it's okay to talk about suicide and seek help without fear of judgment. Together, we can break the cycle of shame and silence and support individuals and communities affected by suicide. 

Remember, it's okay not to have all the answers - but it's not okay to stay silent.